In therapy, there is a lot of work around emotions. What am I feeling? Hurt, anger, shame, fear, loneliness, sadness, guilt, joy, etc.? Even deeper still is what these emotions are leading us to. That deeper pain and wounding that needs our attention so that we may grow and have healing, leading us closer to our needs and desires. As I am learning, the common experiences of pain that unite us all are usually a deeper wounding around abandonment and/or rejection.
REJECTION says, “I am unacceptable in your eyes.”
ABANDONMENT says, “You are not here for me. I have no place in your heart.”
Rejection and abandonment are the themes that act as a bridge between our past hurt and our present reminders of that hurt. The next time you have a big surge of emotion, I encourage you to let that be a signal for you to look deeper underneath the hood, to the possibility of any feelings of rejection or abandonment you might be experiencing. So what is the healing salve for rejection and abandonment? Connection! Only through connection can we receive the healing messages of acceptance and security.
Connection heals our wounds of REJECTION, saying, “I accept you. You are worthy in my eyes. You are good.”
Connection heals our wounds of ABANDONMENT, saying, “I am here for you. You have an important place in my heart. We are in this together.”